Old Furniture

Well, I just got home. I just went over to my brother and sister-in-laws house to help unload some furniture out a moving van.  Earlier today we all went to Florence, SC and moved some old antique furniture out of my wife's grandmother's house.. We came out of it with a new chest of drawers and two new in-tables. I am excited to say that we are going to refinish them and hopefully we can get started on doing that this weekend. Those who know me, know that I actually enjoy refinishing furniture new and old. Though most new stuff isn't "real" wood but instead "real" wood particles, Which, I must admit, isn't fun to refinish. I am by no means a professional, but my wife and I have lots of fun doing it and for me that is what matters most.

 I have had a lot on my mind today.  Recently, I have been feeling better. Nothing has really changed for me, but I am feeling happy about where my life is at and for the first time in a long time, I feel happy about where it is going. I feel like since my early twenties I have been in a funk. I mean, it(life) all kind of hits you at once.  You realize that the best and the brightest don't always break out first, get the best jobs, have the most going for them.. etc.. Which is quite contrary to what we, the children of the 80's, were taught. I also went through, what many young people go through, you know.. trying to figure out relationships.. in my case with women.. you see.. I was taught or I learned this somewhere as a small child that god would send you that one special someone that completes you that is your soul mate and all of that.  What I didn't learn, because I frankly don't remember ever being told this,  is how many relationships you have to go through to meet that person.  So as a younger more naive person there were a couple of people I thought could/would be that person. Only to have my heart stomped on, ripped out, deceived, etc... Worst of losing myself putting aside myself and what I wanted for them.. Don't get me wrong I am not blaming them.. I don't think that people set out to intentionally hurt or abuse one another but because both people involved aren't emotionally matured or equipped to handle such things, it just kind of happens.  Leaving one or the other or both of their lives in a some kind of tale spin.  I have often wondered why it can take so long to "get over" something like a relationship. Is it because you still love that person?.. Maybe.. I don't believe that was the case with myself.  I think for me.. I have been mourning the fact that what I thought my life, on some small scale, would be.. how it would "turn out" hasn't happened like I thought it would when I was younger.  I feel like I have been letting go of that recently. Because on a larger more grand scheme my life is turning out exactly the way I wanted.  And more importantly my life isn't over.  I am not done getting it where I want it.  Goals I had set for myself certainly haven't happened in the order in which I thought they would. But, they have happened perhaps in the most important order they could have. I have a loving wife, a happy son, a daughter on the way, two dogs, and a fish.  We all get loved,  fed, never are we late on our bills.  Perhaps it is also sinking in that for the first time since I left home for college I feel like my life has a great amount of stability. Which, I think, has done me a great deal of good. It feels good to have the same woman, who cares about me and loves me, in my life everyday and every night. (yes i do realize how lucky i am) It feels good to be surrounded by the same people that I know truly care about me.  All of this may seem strange to say to some.. but I know there are those of people out there that understand exactly what i am saying.  And to you I say.. I know exactly how you feel.  

Marty Stewert.

Marty Stewert

today's the day

Today's been a pretty good day. At the moment I am sitting outside in
downtown historic Newberry, SC. I'm sitting on a park bench under the
large green canopy of leaves feeling the wind blowing through my hair.
I am working up here at the Newberry Operahouse doing a sound gig.
Today I am working with an artist that is also legend of country music
Mr. Marty Stewart. So far the day has gone smoothly. No complaints on
my end, no surprise because everyone here today has been very
professional. Call time was at 1pm. We were finished with load and
sound check by 3pm. Then I had a great time watching tonight's act
rehearse for about an hour before we took our break. Now I am sitting
here waiting for the house to open and the show to start. It looks
like we may get some rain. It seems as if the wind I was enjoying
earlier had some rain clouds riding on its coat tails. We always are
in need of rain, generally speaking, i am sure right now is no
different. Time to move this one man blog party indoors.

Ok now that I am sitting down in a plush red "faux-velvety" type
theatre chair, I can get back to this here blog.
This morning was pretty neat. I took my son to my grandparents house
so that they could watch him while a was at work. When I got there my
aunt's little daughter was there, it was neat to see my son interact
with her and play "blocks" or laugh together at the TV or dance when
music is being played. I will probably say this alot during the course
of my blog journey, and i know it is cliche as hell, but they grow up
so fast.

Another thing that happened today was after about five years, I pulled
up to my grandparents and there in their garage was my chest of
drawers. It has been in New Mexico for the past five years. It is
awesome to have it back. In a way it was like seeing an old friend
come home. Or it was like having a piece of myself that somehow and
regrettably was left and since I have been walking around living my
life not completely whole, not completely myself and you don't even
realize that you have been living in this this way, since it was on
some unconscious level, until you see it. Then you think, "now I am
once again right as rain"
It is funny to think that I or anyone could feel that way about a
piece of furniture. For the longest time I felt detached from things
and now because of this piece of furniture I have to admit that I did
miss it and do miss things and people. Tonight I am sleeping away from
my wife and I know I will miss her.
It can be scary to admit that you somehow feel a change in your heart.
Especially when you think of talking about it with people you know,
because you aren't sure if they will still see you as the same person.
I want to assure myself and anyone who reads this that I am sure I am
the same person, I just feel better and more connected with myself
which only means I will be more connected and able connect with others
around me. I hope this new feeling I have serves me in bettering those
relationships with my family, loved ones, and friends. Make me a
better husband and father too. This is my prayer at least.

Until Next Time, Peace and Blessings,
JAG

Well it has been a little bit sine my last post.  Let's see here, what has been going on.  Since my last post... humm.. puh puh puh...  God, when I blog sometime it feels like it is forced.  What has been going on.. same ol' same ol', really..  I stay at home, take care of my son, ie: feed him, change him, read to him, nap him, feed him, change him, play with him, nap him, clean, walk dogs, feed fish.. read to myself.. try and find sometime to practice.. This past week I was supposed to have jury duty.. but it was cancelled. Which is.. good? I was looking forward to throwing a monkey wrench in some body's plan. I have often wondered if I could be convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that someone is guilty.. I mean, how could you do that, unless we went back to the moment that the crime happened and watched it happen.  Wouldn't it all be speculation by the time evidence was presented to me? I mean do I understand it correctly, don't lawyers use the evidence available to paint pictures. To lead my thinking the way they want it to go.. just because the trial has a script doesn't mean that it really did or didn't happen that way? 

At the moment I feel drained.. I feel like I am rambling.. maybe I hate blogging.. I always come away from blogging with the feeling of frustration. I guess, I just don't feel like I have much to say.. I think my son will begin walking soon. I should say walking on his own soon. He is walking now with the assistance of Mommy or Daddy, the couch, a coffee table. The other day I watched as he walked alongside my wife, while she was holding just one of his hands.. I must say that I do think it is amazing to watch this little person be born.. and to see him grow.. i mean, I remember holding him only hours after he was born. Watching his eyes look at a night light in the hospital room, thinking to myself.. wow.. this is the first time this little guy has ever seen a night light, or a ceiling fan, or anything.. and now he is learning to walk. He can crawl and interact with the people and the world around him.  You never know if you are doing a good job as a parent.  He smiles a lot for me, so I guess I am doing something right.  My wife defiantly does a lot more reading on it than I do.. I have a hard time doing that.. I'll pick up some stuff and read here or there, just to gather some info. I try and learn from the experience. though i do see the obvious benefits of reading.. sometimes though, reading about where your child is in his/her development, I don't think is helpful.. They can't help where they are and there is only so much you can do.. i mean.. we can do math problems all day long, but if he can't learn it, because he is at that stage yet and he is unable at this point to understand and we all just gonna have to wait until he can understand, then teach him.. right??  You'd be surprised how long it takes baby boys to learn NO. and until he really gets it.. there isn't anything you can do.. except go with it.. you can't get mad at him.. at least not yet.. when he is 2.. then it's his a$$. ;) 

I can't believe that gas prices are going up, up and away again.. not even superman flies so high.. 

Rock Steady

Where to start.. Yesterday my friend Clayton and I went down to the Battery here in Charleston and took some pictures of me and my double bass.  It was alot of fun. I think that it really helps me to have my picture taken by someone who is my friend, because I usually feel so nervous when I am in front of any sort of camera. Even with him Clayton I feel nervous, but he is cool, he knows what he is doing, plus he is my friend. So, I hope that it will help me to eventually get over my camera fright. 

This morning my Elizabeth and I went to her OBGYN for another 4 week checkup.  She is now 24 weeks pregnant with our second child. We have a son Noah who is 8 months old, and this summer we will be welcoming a baby girl. I think we are both nervous and excited. Everything checked out today, everything was in it's right place. We are having some problems with our scanner and it's drivers at the moment, so I don't have any new ultra sound pics to post. Hopefully I will soon.