Old Furniture

Well, I just got home. I just went over to my brother and sister-in-laws house to help unload some furniture out a moving van.  Earlier today we all went to Florence, SC and moved some old antique furniture out of my wife's grandmother's house.. We came out of it with a new chest of drawers and two new in-tables. I am excited to say that we are going to refinish them and hopefully we can get started on doing that this weekend. Those who know me, know that I actually enjoy refinishing furniture new and old. Though most new stuff isn't "real" wood but instead "real" wood particles, Which, I must admit, isn't fun to refinish. I am by no means a professional, but my wife and I have lots of fun doing it and for me that is what matters most.

 I have had a lot on my mind today.  Recently, I have been feeling better. Nothing has really changed for me, but I am feeling happy about where my life is at and for the first time in a long time, I feel happy about where it is going. I feel like since my early twenties I have been in a funk. I mean, it(life) all kind of hits you at once.  You realize that the best and the brightest don't always break out first, get the best jobs, have the most going for them.. etc.. Which is quite contrary to what we, the children of the 80's, were taught. I also went through, what many young people go through, you know.. trying to figure out relationships.. in my case with women.. you see.. I was taught or I learned this somewhere as a small child that god would send you that one special someone that completes you that is your soul mate and all of that.  What I didn't learn, because I frankly don't remember ever being told this,  is how many relationships you have to go through to meet that person.  So as a younger more naive person there were a couple of people I thought could/would be that person. Only to have my heart stomped on, ripped out, deceived, etc... Worst of losing myself putting aside myself and what I wanted for them.. Don't get me wrong I am not blaming them.. I don't think that people set out to intentionally hurt or abuse one another but because both people involved aren't emotionally matured or equipped to handle such things, it just kind of happens.  Leaving one or the other or both of their lives in a some kind of tale spin.  I have often wondered why it can take so long to "get over" something like a relationship. Is it because you still love that person?.. Maybe.. I don't believe that was the case with myself.  I think for me.. I have been mourning the fact that what I thought my life, on some small scale, would be.. how it would "turn out" hasn't happened like I thought it would when I was younger.  I feel like I have been letting go of that recently. Because on a larger more grand scheme my life is turning out exactly the way I wanted.  And more importantly my life isn't over.  I am not done getting it where I want it.  Goals I had set for myself certainly haven't happened in the order in which I thought they would. But, they have happened perhaps in the most important order they could have. I have a loving wife, a happy son, a daughter on the way, two dogs, and a fish.  We all get loved,  fed, never are we late on our bills.  Perhaps it is also sinking in that for the first time since I left home for college I feel like my life has a great amount of stability. Which, I think, has done me a great deal of good. It feels good to have the same woman, who cares about me and loves me, in my life everyday and every night. (yes i do realize how lucky i am) It feels good to be surrounded by the same people that I know truly care about me.  All of this may seem strange to say to some.. but I know there are those of people out there that understand exactly what i am saying.  And to you I say.. I know exactly how you feel.